Today is organized a bit differently, though. I broke up the order of the episode to piece together storyline scenes, just to pretend this is a little more coherent.
(+5) Rafe calls Nicole to tell her to meet him at the pier for a huge story. But his voice is disguised and he's using a payphone, so obviously this is just one of their kinky games.
(+6) Nicole shows up at the pier and asks, "Is anyone here?" Only the ghosts of everyone who's died falling down those steps. Meanwhile, Rafe stealths his way into her room and starts rifling through her stuff. THIS is the stuff soap romances should be made of! If only the writers knew they were even WRITING a romance with them. But seriously: luring a girl out of her room to the pier where many have met their unfortunate doom, while you rifle through her underwear drawers? CAN YOU SAY "SWOON!?"
(-3) Rafe finds a picture of Sydney, and we go "AWWWWW." He wants to be a part of her life, but since he can't, he at least wants to keep her away from the D is for Dangerous Dimeras. I find it funny that he and Nicole both love Sydney and can't raise her. It could be a bonding moment. Anyway, he finds a notebooks stashed in one of her drawers and thinks it means something. I'm only doing negative points for this because, RAFAEL YOU'RE WASTING TIME BEING SENTIMENTAL.
(-2) Nicole realizes she just fell for a trap. My guess is that she's going to think EJ's going behind her back. Uh-oh. I hope this doesn't mean she's going to retaliate and drag this out even further. As much as I do enjoy Nicole vs. EJ and I think they're well-matched rivals, I'd rather move on. Maybe they can fight over Rafe's affections.
(+4) She gets back to her room, and Rafe is still in there. She realizes someone was in there because the window was left open (hey, Rafe can't do everything!). OF COURSE, she thinks it's EJ's doing. Escaping through the window? How romantic, Rafael. You and Nicole are a regular Romeo and Juliet. The Claire Danes one.
(+1) She immediately goes to her drawer to check if this super secret notebook is okay, and Rafe did leave it there. But oh-ho-ho, now he's back at the station calling in favors to check out some of the information he got from Nicole's notebook. I hope it has something to do with Rambaldi. We need a cool far-fetched fantasy/supernatural storyline.
(+10) ABE CARVER IS AT THE HOSPITAL WITH ROMAN (because of Bo's attack, obvs). EVERYTHING ELSE IS IRRELEVANT.
(+3) Carly is freaking out about Bo and Daniel tries to calm her down, and basically she's just trying not to fangirl too much over the fact that Abe Carver is still in the frame. Go ahead and keysmash, Carly! I just did!
(-1) Maggie talks to Victor on the phone and says something about a spreadsheet. This is not innuendo.
(-3) Even E.J. doesn't think Sami should trust him. And Sami is indignant that he should suggest that she has any reason to be on guard around him.
(-4) Sami tells E.J. that she wants to go watch Sydney sleep (WHAT?) and she does. She comes back to ask E.J. about a new dress she found in Syd's closet... E.J. tells her it was supposed to be a surprise because he wanted to take family portraits. OMFG this is so cheesy. Did anyone ever notice that Sami and E.J. are actually an incredibly boring couple when he's not assaulting her or they're not taking their kids away from each other? Not even boring in the, "oh, they're so uncomplicated! It's refreshing!" kind of way. It's boring in the "VOM VOM VOM. Why are we subjected to this overly cutesiness to mask the fact that they are way too complicated."
(-2) Victor tells Viv to watch a documentary about pythons in florida. She grills him about Maggie, referring to their "late night meetings" and he's like, "GURRRRL, DON'T GO THERE." IDK Victor, I really wanted to see this documentary. LIVE A LITTLE!
(+5) VIVIAN CALLS HERSELF VICTOR'S SOUL MATE. Here's the thing. I love crazy viv, and I actually sympathize that she's so unwanted. Her realization that her marriage is a complete sham was actually really sad, and it humanizes her a bit. But she's still trying to force this "relationship" and it's just weird okay. BUT SHE'S CRAZY AND I LOVE HER FOR IT.
(-1) She and victor argue. She tries to impress him with business talk, and he's thinks she's ridiculous and no1curr. At some point, she calls Maggie a redheaded cow. OOF, that's cold.
(+3) Bo wakes up while Hope tries to kill him. "What are you doing?" Oh, nothing Beauregard. Just fluffing your pillows, poisoning your IV with an air bubble. Good times, good times. It's nice to know that creepy Hope's still funny.
(-1) Carly and Dr. JoBro come back to check on him, so Hope has to slip away before she can finally finish murdering him.
(-1) And WHAT DO YOU KNOW? Bo calls Hope's name when Carly and Daniel walk in. She thinks he's trying to tell her to call Hope, while we all know that Bo just was wondering WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK she was doing in his hospital room! Before he can explain that much, his face goes all crazy, as he flatlines and crashes.
(+3) HOW DID HOPE GET OUT OF THERE SO FAST? Because she's suddenly at home. Do the Kiriakis's like live next door to the hospital?
(+1) Crazy Hope talks to a sleeping Sierra, and it's kind of sweet except for the part where she's talking about killing Sierra's father. I still think it's pretty shitty to still keep using Zac's death against Bo. Just let the kid rest in peace.
(+3) Meanwhile, at Salem U, Daniel stabilizes Bo, while Carly cries. She then decides it's time to call Hope, because she is her dying boyfriend's wife and all. Positive points for Daniel's again surprising competency at doctoring.
(-2) Hope gets the call from Carly, but she ignores it. She thinks the call means Bo told Carly that it was her, and now they're coming to get her. LMAO if that WERE the case, Hope, WHY would they call you first and give you a chance to get away. They're not Justin levels of stupid when it comes to confronting criminals, are they?
(+2) Bo is awake, but cannot seem to talk. He tries to take off his oxygen or whatever it is, and Carly is annoyed and calls him a STUBBORN MAN! He's needs to start doing his best Lassie impression to try to tell her that Hope fell down a crazy well. IDK this is kind of amusing, even though I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be.
(+3) Vivian meets with her right-hand man (whose name I forgot, because I always call him not!Ivan. Remember Ivan? He and Vivian were amaaaazing back then.) at the Brady pub. He's telling her that she's amazing and Victor doesn't appreciate her, and showing him what a strong woman she is will make him realize. Vivian's thinking more along the lines that she should WOO HIM WITH MÚSICA(!!!) by going to Chicago and picking up some of his favorites.
(-1) GUS WANTS TO KILL MAGGIE. IDK if that's actually the idea he has in mind, but he's all about not getting sad and instead getting mad and even.
(-3) Roman is being useless and getting absolutely EVERYTHING wrong (except that he deduced that it was a personal attack.)
(+9) Abe knows it's not the Dimeras. He suspected the mugger, even though the M.O. is all wrong. Bo even fits the criteria of all the attacked sirs. Basically, don't cross Abe Carver. He's the president of Salem.
(+3) After his fight with the old ball and chain of crazy, Victor shows up at the mistress's to talk "business." I'm giving them points because I actually like Victor and Maggie, but my god this needs to go somewhere. Like REAL Vivian interference. Or one of them actually making a move, instead of just discussing the fact that they have a friendship and business dealings.
(+2) Oh, somebody finally thought to call Bo's FATHER to notify him about Bo's current hospital stay. Just as Maggie was telling him that he's married, and considering Vivian's feelings on the matter, she and Victor shouldn't be friends, she then rushes to the hospital with Victor to lend her moral support. - Which leads me to wonder if we're going to have another run-in with Caroline (considering Bo's her son and all, maybe they'll think to call her?), will we have another awkward tense confrontation with her, Maggie and Victor?
Bonus points, deductions
(+20) ABE CARVER IS HERE, BEING A BAMF. HELL TO THE YES.
(-10) For the lack of fluffy hair today.
(+5) E.J.'s blinking was out of control while Sami was asking about Nicole. AMAZING.
I think that brings our total to 50 points, which is a new record! If only Philip's fluffy hair was around. I think we could have broken 60 with that. (Well, we would have, because I wouldn't have had to deduct points.)
Abe Rating
5 Happy Abes!
Abe was showing off his amazing investigative talents. I only officially go up to 5 Abes, but think of this as 10 Happy Abes.
Next week in Salem!
Justin tells Hope that Bo was attacked (lolz), Nathan tells Melanie that he and crazycakes are moving in together, and Carly asks Bo who attacked him. Let's hope there's also some progress in some of these hanging storylines, but don't count on it.
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