(-3) Bo is awake, and surprise, surprise. He doesn't remember anything.
(+4) MELANIE! She's so pretty and adorable. LOL, I don't even care that I flail over ridiculous things, like Melanie being cute as usual. Anyway, she's getting off the phone with Philip when Nathan is at the door. Haha, juxtaposed moments in Melanie's life.
(-2) This turns into an awkward Nathan/Melanie scene, where he tells her he's moving in with Stephanie. She doesn't give him shit for it, but right now he seems upset that she doesn't care. I can't help it that I ship them okay. I just wish they would move this story along. As sad as I'll be when Philip's secret comes out because I don't want Philip and Melanie to go away, I still love Nathan/Melanie and really wish they would just move this whole love quadrangle along faster if that's what the show is actually leaning towards.
(+3) Anyway, she is kind of surprised, but she shrugs it off, saying that it'll be nice that if Stephanie wakes up vomming or has welts or something like that, at least there's a doctor right there! Nathan seems amused by her lovely imagery. I am too, because LMAO at gross Stephanie.
(+5) The return of Hope's terrible pajamas! YAYAYAYAY. My day is even better now.
(+1) Stefano reads Maddie's obit and he and Kate lament~ He's glad their secret is buried now, but Kate thinks he needs to brush up on his Shakespeare because it can't be over yet. (Is that the one thing Stefano is not brushed up on?) I didn't know how to score this scene, so I'm giving it a +1 because it's kate/stefano and I ship them and Shakespeare.
(+8) WILL AND CHAD! MORE CLAPPY HANDS! Will apologizes to Chad for saying all those things about his mother. Eh, they were true, though. But he feels guilty for his part in Maddie's death, but Chad doesn't blame him.
(-5) I don't like Crazy Jealous Caroline, because I don't see the point of having her bitch out Victor and Maggie all the time. It's kind of a waste of Caroline. I want Caroline Bluth. You know, the version of Caroline I have in my head where she drinks all day and insults her children? I would LOVE that Caroline, if they would write her like that.
(-3) Roman asked Bo if he's awake. Um, Roman. Really? How are you a detective.
(+2) "Don't you ever get killed by your crazy ex-wife again." Well, he doesn't say that exactly, but he does get mad at Bo for getting himself almost killed.
(-2) Justin comes over to tell Hope that Bo is in the Hospital. Hope looks worried. I think Daytime Hope is back. Sadface.
(+8) Melanie refuses to offer to help Nathan with his boxes (AWESOME. "I'd offer to help, but you might say yes..."), while Philip's hair fluffs itself out. He has it tucked behind one ear, Joey Potter style.
(-1) Adrienne brings coffee to Stephanie's place, and they need to have a serious talk. Somehow, this has to do with Patch grilling Adrienne about Stephanie and Nathan.
(+3) Okay, points for you, Adrienne for sarcastically calling Patch a Pillar of virtue in his youth.
(-3) BOO ADRIENNE. Why would you talk Steve out of scaring the shit out of Nathan. That would be the greatest thing to come out of Stephanie and Nathan as a couple. Plus, I'd rather he come back than Kayla. I take your points back.
(+3) Caroline snipes at Victor and Maggie some more, like I figured would happen once Victor and Maggie left for the hospital last week. But she does have a point this time. I don't care what Roman says. Caroline is a tough lady, and she deserves to know if her son is in the freaking hospital. She's not fragile, don't keep stuff like that from her. Plus points because Caroline deserves them here.
(-2) She leaves, and Victor is kind of laughing at her. Okay, I really don't want people to see her as a joke. Even if I keep pushing Caroline as Lucille Bluth.
(+5) Points for Victor's "Dangerous Dame, Maggie Horton" line. I'd watch that movie. (Oh yes, the context is that Maggie now has two old ladies making her out to be the "other woman.")
(-3) Roman is questioning Bo about what he remembers. Roman, you make me sad. You come across Bo covered in gasoline, presumably ready to burn to death, and you didn't think that the perpetrator might still be in the house? Like who leaves their victim covered in gas and just LEAVES. Doesn't it seem like the person was JUST ABOUT to make their move and set Bo on fire before Daniel got there? And I make myself sad for only just now thinking about this.
(-1) Hope walks in to see Carly hugging Bo. I want to see her instantly morph into Nighttime Hope. Like a power ranger. However, she does not. Sad.
(+10) Will and Chad are making googly eyes at each other even if they don't know it. They're back at the pier and Chad's agonizing over how his mom died. Will tells him that her past doesn't change what she became. LOL, I really love how much Chad loves his mother. It cracks me up. But he does wonder what other secrets she's keeping, and he thinks Will's grandmother is the key.
(-2) I love will, but I have to give him obligatory negative points for trying to stop Chad and motherly Kate moments. He doesn't think it's a good idea. If this is out of jealousy, I'll give him extra points next time.
(+15) OMG THE WHOLE CARVER FAMILY. I'M GOING TO DIE. THE FIRST FAMILY OF SALEM HAS ARRIVED. Theo is destined to be prodigy. Probably a doctor boy wonder. Anyway, he says something about Aunt Hope and treasures, and Lexi is confused.
(+2) Nathan brings out a bunch of boxes, and he seems to need help. However, Melanie is gone. He looks sad. We know, Nathan. I'm sure you can carry your box of pillows on your own. (LMAO, okay, as we'll find out later, they were full of books. But I love the idea of Nathan just being too lazy to carry tiny boxes of nothing.)
(+6) "I LOVE BEING RICH!" Melanie exclaims after Philip surprises her at the "beach(!!!!)" with a fancy looking lunch setting.
(+2) She asks the occasion, and apparently, since Philip owns a hospital ward, he managed to get Melanie's grades from nursing school early. Melanie aced all her finals and keeps thinking that Philip bought her grades. And he tells her that's something he can't buy. Aww.
(-1) Daytime Hope asks Bo questions about his attack. So, I'm gathering that the switching between AM/PM Hope was really more that Bo was breaking down Nighttime Hope. Daytime Hope does not seem to have any idea at all that it was her.
(-1) Only one mention of babies from Melanie today. Thank you, writers, for toning that down for today. I'll only subtract one point as a show of gratitude.
(+4) LMAO Nathan gave Stephanie a bracelet last week, so this week Philip gives Melanie a (probably) better and more expensive one. Ugh, they're so cute. I love them. Which makes me sad because....
(-2) ...BAH! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO RUIN THIS SCENE WITH PHILIP AND CHLOE UNAWESOMENESS. Like, I love a good infidelity flashback, but now we're at the point where we're flashing back to their conversations about said
(+1) Carly thinks Hope is trying to pin the attack on her, and Hope's all like, "I'm just getting a timeline, okay." I actually kind of like this, because I wish Carly weren't so understanding. I feel like if she were a little more aggressive, everything would move less slowly.
(+8) Salem's first family: they're just like us! They hang out at the sandy clearing in the trees and try to act like they're not the most majestic family in Salem (I like their humility), and Theo digs up a wallet (LOLWAT???). He then mentions that Aunt Hope's treasures were wallets. He's been hanging out with Creepy Sierra, clearly.
(-2) Justin stop being creepy. Hope gets a phone call while questioning Carly, and as she takes the call, Justin walks up behind her. OMFG, SHE IS A POLICEWOMAN. ON THE PHONE. Why is this any of your business, Justin. He's so lame, I wish he'd go away.
(+2) Stephanie finds a picture of Nathan and Stephanie tucked away in an envelope, as if he was keeping it because it's special. STEPHANIE'S. REACTION. FACE. IS. ABSOLUTELY. PRICELESS. It's the most honest I've seen her.
(-2) Kate talks to herself a bit, while pulling out Chad's birth certificate that she apparently just carries around in her purse, and now we know Charles isn't his real father. I seem to have been on a computer for too long, because I kept trying to make my tv screen scroll down so I can see whose name is on the birth certificate. I'm baffled at Kate just freely whipping out THE ONLY COPY OF CHAD'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE when she has a free moment. lolwat.
(-1) Stefano overhears her talking to herself, and asks what she just said about Chad's father. Of course he overhears her. He's got powers, okay.
(+1) Bo asks Roman for a cheeseburger, and Roman laughs at him as he leaves. Bo calls him useless. Which isn't entirely inaccurate. Bro and bRoman get points for this exchange, though.
(+5) Kate covers up what she was telling herself by telling Stefano about seeing Charles at the Brady Pub drinking so early (the Kate/Charles scene happened earlier, and I forgot to put it in the timeline. Basically, Charles tells her that he got Maddie's safety deposit box and it was curiously empty. Kate is now relaying this to Stefano). Stefano leaves the mansion, but not before a completely adorable moment of him telling Kate that if she's talking to herself, maybe she's a little crazy.
(-3) Kate whips out the birth certificate again, and...okay, his birthdate is apparently March 03, 1990. Making him 20. He's supposed to be JUST out of high school, what even. I wouldn't be surprised if they finally start giving Casey and Molly scenes by next summer. Not that I actually want them to, but you know, I'm guessing all the Molly and Casey fans would love to see Melanie and Chad interact.
(-5) Bo asks Hope if she's going to tell Sierra that he's in the hospital, and she doesn't want Sierra to know that they almost lost Bo. (Which is why PM Hope decided that this was something she should tell Sierra while she was asleep on the couch.) Somehow, Bo is holding Hope's hand just as Carly walks in to see them. Negative points because they practically just did the same scene twice, just with Hope and Carly reversed.
----stuff I forgot to recap, but don't remember where it goes in the timeline.
(-2) The Kate/Charles scene at the pub, but I did mention it in the Kate/Stefano scene. Anyway, Charles still doesn't look too devastated over Maddie. I'm just saying. Kate's condolences are met with Charles telling her she could go to hell, and Kate still tries to be sweet and offers to donate to Maddie's charities. Charles just has this air about him that elicits negative points from me.
(+1) Adrienne runs into Philip at the Brady pub as well, I think they talk about Bo. But she mentions that someone in her building almost called the cops when he snuck in after someone opened the door. She identified him, and told her neighbor that he was just going to Daniel and Chloe's apartment - which Melanie of course overhears, and asks why he was there. He lies and says that it was while Chloe was in the hospital and she asked him to pick up some things for her. Eh, boring. But seeing Philip pick up his lying skills from Chloe is amusing.
(+5) For Philip's hair's Joey Potter tuck.
(+20) The Carver family bonus
(+3) For bringing back the "beach" setting that amuses me so much, and using it twice.
(-4) While they did bring out a lot of the higher scoring elements and gimmicks to make me go all clappy hands, they didn't actually make any storyline progress - except for Theo telling his parents about Hope's wallets, maybe, and Kate confirming that the secret is what we already suspected. Where are your transitions and deep edges?!
LMAO, so today's episode is apparently a 77 point long program. Overscored? Maybe, but IDC IDC. The sketchy beach setting, Melanie, Will/Chad scenes and THE CARVERS win with a quad in my eyes. Subjective sport. So whateva, haters:
Abe Rating
5 Happy Abes
We're easily pleased.
No comments:
Post a Comment