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Stefano thinks Samanther shot Elvis. Whoever did this is going to DIE. IN PAIN. AND ALONE! Stefano walks in on Daniel talking to Lexie about technical terms and shit. IDK. EJ has a bunch of wires stuck to his head. It amuses me that Daniel calls Stefano "Mr. Dimera." Stefano doesn't care about brain functions and patterns. When is EJ going to wake up!? Lexie and stefano cry about Elvis together. Stefano thinks himself a tough enough bitch that Lexie can get back to her work and not watch over him.
Stefano talks to a comatose EJ at his bedside about fatherhood, and he calls EJ his favorite son. Poor Chad. None of his fathers love him. Anyway, Stefano laughs and cries and talks about love and his beautiful grandchildren. TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN THE SIDES OF STEFANO'S FACE. Now Stefano wishes he could just trade places with EJ. If this were Passions, he totally would be able to do this.
Daniel and Sami talk about EJ's condition, and she wants him to tell her what the right thing to do is if she has to decide if he lives or not. Or something like that. IDK Sami, you shot him. The right thing to do would have been not to trust him in the first place. Daniel gives Sami a bit of definitive Jonas wisdom: there's no answer! Hahahaahaha. Sami doesn't want to decide EJ's fate, and Rafe wonders if it would just be easier to let him die. This would be a perfect time for Stefano to walk up and overhear. I love Rafe, but come on, shit would be funny.
Stefano tries to stop Sami from going into EJ's room, and Lexie reminds him that he can't stop her. Rafe tells Stefano that he's probably to blame for EJ getting shot, and that whoever did it probably got the wrong Dimera. He wishes that whoever did it would have wiped out the WHOLE DIMERA CLAN. Raaaafe, noooo. Why you gotta say stuff like this? Johnny and Sydney didn't do anything! Tony's tumble off the rickety pier steps was bad enough. But what about Lexie? You would want the FIRST LADY OF SALEM to be assassinated? I blame this on your engagement to Sami. I don't like you today.
Lexie breaks up the argument, and tells both of them to stop before Rafe can look like a bigger jerk. IDK, this is why you shouldn't try to marry Sami unless you're Lucas. ANYWAY, LISTEN TO LEXIE CARVER! Oh, as all this is going on, Kate and Abe walk in. You guys. YOU. GUYS. ABE IS HERE. And Lexie is glad. I am too.
Sami is a hot mess while watching EJ be comatose, and she cries, "What have I done?" and at that moment, EJ opens his eyes. Dun dun dun. Sami starts screaming for Lexie like a mad woman.
Melanie is amused by Vivian's jealousy of Maggie, and makes suggestive faces. She's worried about Vivian hovering around her, and would rather Viv stays out of her way. Maggie talks about her trip and is in a rush to book it, and Melanie realizes it's because of Victor. Of course, Maggie will deny this. So there's that. Melanie thinks something totally happened between them, and now she's pouting and being generally childish. Which I don't mind, but it reminds me why it bothers me that she's married and talks about babies all the time.
Chloe, in such kind words, tells Vivian to get out because apparently she's so fascinated by her friendship with Carly she wants to sit right with them at the pub. Um, Vivian. It's Thursday, you're wearing your crazy hat. YOU CAN'T SIT HERE! Vivian, before leaving, not-so-subtly hints at Chloe's failed attempt to kill Carly. Chloe does what she does best, and stares with widening eyes. She says she has something to tell Carly, but is she actually going to tell?
Carly's hair looks super light. They decide that they're alone enough to talk at the pier, where no one could walk in on them or overhear them at all...because you know, that kind of stuff just doesn't happen on the pier. Chloe reminds Carly of the way Vivian manipulated her, while dancing around the subject, because really. How do you tell the one person who's had your back that you tried to murder her. Fucking LOL.
Chloe finally gets the courage to say, "I sort of tried to kill you." "You tried to kill me?! Like actual murder?!" Chloe cries about how ashamed she is, and Carly somehow speaks with her calmly asking how she was going to kill her. PUT IT TOGETHER, CARLY! YOU WERE THERE! Chloe explains how Vivian approached her and how the elevator that went crashing down taking Chloe with it was meant for Carly.
Vivian comes home to find Philip waiting for her and she's just so happy until Philip yells at her to stay away from Melanie. Vivian says that her main project now is Isabella, and Philip is wondering what the hell she's doing with his dead sister. She tells him about the sarcophagus, and he flips the eff out. "You can't fix a marriage made in hell by moving dead bodies around!" Oh, this phrase is so applicable to so many life situations. IDK why it's one of the more obscure proverbs. Victor arrives in time to hear Philip shouting at his bride, and she assures Philip that she has his best interests at heart. Philip tells Vivian she has no heart, and aww, she actually runs out crying. I sort of feel bad for her, but she is crazy and I like crazy Vivian not sad Vivian.
Meanwhile, in the lamest version of Crazyland ever, Ian is able to determine that it definitely wasn't Philip who changed the results, and Stephanie now assumes Chloe changed the results because other than Philip, she had the most to lose. But we know Chloe isn't smart enough. Neither is Stephanie. She thinks Chloe could have gotten a friend to do it, like she did herself. Stephanie calls Ian the best friend in the world, and we already knew that her whole world revolves around Nathan so obviously she has no other friends. Anyway, while trying to figure out the situation, she calls Chloe a slut. Stephanie is like the most sexist female on this show.
Philip asks Victor why he's still married to Vivian, because there could be someone out there that he really loves and could make him really happy. Aww, Philip, you're so cute.
After pouting about Maggie leaving, Melanie visits Daniel at his apartment to tell him about the baby shower she and Carly are throwing for Chloe. If he's good, he might just be invited! After the stressful day he's had with the Dimeradramallama, the fact that Melanie, Chloe and Carly are all getting along is like the greatest thing ever for him. Maggie drops by to give Daniel and Chloe a baby present, and Melanie cries more about how much she's bummed that she's leaving and she's going to miss her.
I assume that Melanie left at some point, maybe I missed it. But now Daniel and Maggie are talking alone. Did Daniel, like, minor in Psychiatry? He's now discussing Maggie's travel plans and basically about to drop some Jonas wisdom on her. He doesn't think it would be as comforting (re: Mickey) as she says it will be. She reminds us that Daniel sort of understands what she's going through because his wife died and all. Anyway, Daniel suspect there's another reason Maggie's in such a rush to get away.
LMAO, Nathan comes home to find Ian with Stephanie. AGAIN. LMAO. I love how rude he is to him. Maybe Chloe was on to something about Nathan. (Oh, man, I can't believe I missed the recap where she YELLED AT HIM FOR INSULTING HER, threatened to toss his ass into a river and called him a pompous idiot. That was my favorite Chloe scene ever.) None of this is important, because Nathan's hair is extra deliberately-messy-looking today. Therefore that's all that matters.
In a stray scene that is really random in the context of the rest of the episode, Victor super seriously says that disobeying him is very dangerous. So, he ORDERS Sierra to have fun today. Okay, that was cute. I love funny Victor.
Back at Salem U, Sami is in disbelief and rambling loudly about EJ OPENING HIS EYES, and she can't believe this happened he was lying there and he just opened his eyes and I can't believe this is happening. LOL. Anyway, Stefano makes sure to take the time to accuse her of not wanting EJ to wake up, which she vehemently denies. Lexie walks out of EJ's room, and everyone wonders if he's awake, while she looks distressed.
Tomorrow in Salem
Carly won't let Vivian get away with it (I'm guessing attempted murder is what she means) this time. Will knows what Sami did. And Rafe is gonna make Elvis Inigo Montoya Jr. pay for what you did to Sami.
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