Previously in Salem
Since I didn't post yesterday's recap, I'll just do a bit of it so we're up to speed:
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Maggie and Nathan are talking in her kitchen. She has to take care of Chez Rouge business, and leaves the room momentarily. Melanie gets home, Nathan is there. They talk about Hope and hug. Maggie comes back and Melanie leaves her and Nathan alone, and she asks about what's going on between him and the young redhead. Blah blah blah, she's married, blah blah. They have a grandma date at the pub, and Caroline greets Maggie with coldness. Nathan asks what that's about, and Maggie explains her friendship with Victor and how she was at the hospital after Bo's attack when everyone failed to tell Caroline. Nathan sasses at her about lecturing him about Melanie when she's BFFLs with Victor.
Just as Crazycakes Stephanie leaves the bar after telling her Aunt Adrienne that she was worried over nothing when she found Nathan's picture of him and Melanie, she has to drop off hospital papers at Maggie's. Of course, she gets there to see Mel and Nathan embracing through the window, and stands there watching and freaking out like a creeper. She goes back to Adrienne to tell her about it, and then discusses Philip's weird behavior because she KNOWS he's up to something and she doesn't want him to ruin his relationship with Mel and, by extension, her relationship with Nathan.
Philip and Chloe meet at the pier to discuss her paternity test. AND CRAZYCAKES FINDS THEM THERE. She acts super-psychotic and questions Chloe's stress levels. She then proceeds to break into Chloe's apartment and tries to hack into her computer, since she now knows those two are keeping secrets. Daniel and Chloe are just outside their door, so Stephanie has to hide.
Sami and Rafe continue their locker room encounter, but he decides it's a mistake. That doesn't stop him from kissing her again. He reveals that he knows E.J. and Sami are engaged, and Sami's like WHAT. DID HE TELL YOU. Blah blah blah, she wants him to stop her from marrying Elvis, and he's like umm...that's your responsibility not mine. (To be fair, I also thought Melanie shouldn't have married Philip if she wanted Nathan to stop it. But she did come to the realization that she chose Philip on her own, and not by some force or made up obligation to any kids. So...yeah. Sami is a whole lot worse in my eyes right now. The sad thing is that I actually like Sami, but right now she's unbearable to me.)
Later, back at the mansion, Sami yells at E.J. for telling Rafe. But he didn't, so Sami assumes Stefano did. WAT. With everyone always saying everything out loud, someone's bound to hear. Elvis points out that if they're getting married, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT!!! Sami just wants time to get used to being engaged to Elvis. I hope they get married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. He sweet talks Sami a little bit, and I tuned out, but apparently they're on.
Rafe shows up to the bar after his rough day, and tells the bartender to keep the beers coming. OMG NICOLE SHOWS UP, TOO. "Buy a girl a drink?" OMG, they are going to drink their sorrows away together and fall madly in love and get married and ride off on a horse! Rafe teases Nicole about Brady, and she calls Rafe a straight-shooter. He tells the bartender to get the lady whatever she wants, and she marvels at being called a lady for the first time in forever. Nicole has a pretty drink, and she wants wants to toast to the future. "May it not suck as much as the present." Are they in love yet? I think they are.
Also items of noteworthy value to me:
Adrienne tells Caroline about her crazy granddaughter. Caroline is just like, JFC this girl. And I'm even more convinced that she needs to become a more Lucille Bluth-like character. She calls Stephanie while she's snooping around Chloe's things, and the girl snaps at Caroline. LOL, bitch.
Melanie sits with Chloe at the pub, but she's telling Chloe about her day with Daniel at St. Mary's and Chloe freaks out and leaves. Once Chloe is out the door, Melanie says, "You better start telling people you're pregnant, or else they're just going to think you're a biiiitch." OMG MELANIE. I LOVE YOU. MARRY ME. That is my new favorite line.
...There was also some Justin stuff, but I really don't care. He's stupid. Blah. And nothing really pivotal tbh.
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Thank at-god it's friday.
Stephanie hides as Daniel and Chloe arrive at their apartment that she broke into. She listens to them be gross for a little bit, but once Daniel is out of the picture Chloe calls Philip. Meanwhile, Philip and Melanie are walking around the house in minimal clothing talking about ... IDK. I think she may have mentioned Brady's problems. While Melanie gets dressed, Philip answers Chloe's call about needing to see him once Melanie leaves. Which, of course, Stephanie overhears. Philip shows up at Chloe's, and as they discuss their problems, Stephanie is still in the closet. Chloe tells Philip more about how they mixed up her name at the hospital, but they still have her phone number for the results, and how the baby might be Philip's. All this while Stephanie eavesdrops, biting her nails and practically crying. I think she can hear her life shattering into pieces.
She escapes from her closet once Philip and Chloe have left, and now OMG Stephanie is pacing around Chloe's apartment freaking out about everything she just found out. And now she's on the phone trying to find out if she can use her hospital clearance to try to access St. Mary's records. OMG they're really pulling a Sami with her. She is SO going to change the results.
Sami asks E.J. when he wants to get married, and he wants to get married now! He doesn't think they need a big wedding, or something extravagant. He thinks they can get married by the end of the week. Sami disagrees. She wants to set the date TOGETHER. And suggests E.J. should sit. She wants to get married at St. Luke's, where they had Grace's funeral and he threatened to take Johnny away from her...so it's poetic? Yikes. She wants the perfect wedding, and she's had a million of them. I'll come back with an actual count.
Stefano and Kate walk in and E.J. tells them the good news in person, and Kate chokes on her own disgust. Stefano offers his condolences, and Sami's like COME ON, STEFFY. So he shakes hands with her. Kate scoffs at them as Sami jokes that she has to sing for them at the wedding. Stefano is talking about the toast he and Kate have to give Elvis and Samantha. I think Stefano is really amused by this unholy union, because now they're breaking out the champs to drink to the engagement. Kate's toast: "May they get everything they deserve in life." L M A O. Stefano suggests Sami utilize Kate's event planning experience. "Please do." Stefano and E.J. confer about their secrets.
Brady is drinking and walking around shirtless, and Victor's like THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. He refers to Nicole as his crazy ex-wife while asking what Nicole did to drive Brady to drinking. He calls her a she-monster, shapeshifter etc. Yes, she is magical. He calls her a gold-digging slut, and Brady tells him not to call her that. "Oh my god, you're still in love with her!" LOL Victor. Your grandson is dumb.
Rafe and Nicole talk about Brady. She goes on about how she didn't BREAK him and Arianna up, but Brady just realized he and Nicole are meant to be. Or something like that. But it wasn't her fault. Or something like that. I'm probably skipping stuff here, but at some point she says that he's too much of a ~man to discuss his feelings with her. And he says he's too much of a man to discuss his feelings with the woman who made Sami miserable. She says stuff about him being in love with Samanther, and then asks when was the last time he was truly happy. Words words words. Then she asks why he said he was at the bar celebrating. He's happy about his sister Arianna being free after Hope's confession to the muggings. Nicole says Hope let a lot of people off the hook, and he wonders who. (LOL, minor speedbump in their relationship. She set up his sister. Whatever. They'll get past it.)
Rafe gets a call from Tim saying he has the message Nicole sent Fay put together. He asks if Tim's listened to it yet, but Tim thinks Rafe should be the first one to hear. Rafe gives Nicole money to pay for the drinks, along with his own bit of wisdom about why her life always goes wrong. She's carrying around the recording of E.J.'s confession to the kidnapping in her purse, by the way. And she's contemplating doing the right thing by turning it in, before she freaks out that she'd get arrested and how everyone will find out what she did, and she'll lose Brady and NO WONDER SHE NEVER DOES THE RIGHT THING, RAFE! And omg, she's saying all of this out loud, of course.
Daniel and Melanie dine together at the pub. And Raawwrr. Daniel just made a cat noise. I don't know what to make of this. Mel calls Stephanie a life-ruiner. And Daniel decides he's gonna sound like a dad now. He wonders if Melanie's problem with her are because of something she did, or if it's because she's with Nathan. Oooh, rare wisdom from Danny Boy. Aww, Melanie loves her picket fence life. Melanie is worried, though, because she thinks working at University Hospital might give people the wrong impression about Daniel and Carly's involvement in her career, and she wants to make a name for herself. She doesn't want Daniel to be upset if St. Mary's offers her a job and she takes it. Having a new baby doesn't change how happy he is to be her dad. Later, outside, Daniel thinks it will be a great day.
Stephanie, luckily for her, gets to St. Mary's at the same time the desk girl leaves, and she gets onto the computer to check for Chloe's results. Unfortunately for her, Melanie shows up at the same time and wonders wtf she's doing there.
Nicole goes to see Brady again, and she "comes clean" about why she has so much money in an illegal account - which means she makes up a lie about her job and corrupt people and being afraid to go to the cops. Brady's dense and buys everything she's telling him, and they seem to make up considering the fact that they end up making out.
Rafe listens to whatever Nicole sent Fay, which is of course as we know, a recording of EJ talking about kidnapping Sydney. All we hear though, is E.J. saying he can't believe he's doing this, he must be out of his mind! But somehow Rafe puts together the whole story of E.J. kidnapping Sydney, and Nicole finding out/blackmailing him. Good boy. He also acknowledges Nicole is smart and figures out that she has the other part of the recording that is the proof he needs. OMG wat is this split screen thing going on. Rafe in one corner, Nicole and brady making out in another, and Sami and EJ on the other side. L M A O.
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